If you're like me at all, it's sometimes to hard to pinpoint the reality of a situation with another person. Sure, most of the time people's more intense feelings are right there on the surface: pointy, soft, rough or smooth. We use our five senses to tune into how people are feeling. The more difficult part comes when you can't tell and/or you don't know what they're feeling right now.
Most people just forge their way ahead, a blind man in a sea of darkness. That's not necessarily good or bad; it just might not be the most effective way of handling things. If you want to truly connect to the person, start asking questions. What (not how!) are you feeling? Is it just me, or is there something wrong? You seem to be in a mood but I'm not sure; are you in a good or a bad mood? If you start to get one word answers and still aren't sure of how they are feeling and responding to you, DON'T pull away or go into your head about it.
Instead, take a deep breath and say what you feel like the truth of the situation is. You could start by saying something like, "I don't really feel connected to you right now and I want to be but it seems like you're distant." Depending on the reaction you get, this could lead you to a deeper level of connection with the person. Most people might respond by saying what's really going on with them and whether it involves you or not. You might not like the answer that you get if it does involve you, but you also might achieve a level of deeper connection with the person.
Keep this in mind, especially during this time of year, because almost everyone around you will be stressed out in some way, shape or form. By truly attempting to find out what's going on with the other person, you will be able to stay on track not only with yourself and what your intentions and commitments are, but also keep in touch with what those around you are committed to as well.
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