Jason 3.0, Version 2

I used to be an asshole. No excuses, no preconditions, no reasons, just the bare truth. When I was in college back in the late 90's/early 00's, it was a wonder that I had any friends at all. I quote from an essay that I wrote about four years ago for a writing class:


"I did a lot of things that semester to piss people off. I yelled at them about their taste in music, stole the peephole out of someone’s door, and squirted shaving cream through said peephole. I wasn’t the nicest of people."

The person that I am now, at 32, instead of the 19 that I was then, bears little resemblance to that earlier version. Even the person that I was less than 10 years ago, at the age of 26 is quite different. From the same essay:

"Colorado had become my home and I was happy here, but I was nearing my three year ‘residential anniversary’ and I still didn’t have a lot to show for it in the way of a social life. I can’t say that I was unhappy, but I didn’t feel like I thought I should. My fragile façade was beginning to crack – revealing a life that wasn’t exactly what I had planned. I imagined my existence in terms of Eliot’s Prufrock, who passes his time monotonously and cautiously, ‘measuring my life with coffee spoons.’ I had to do something to figure out how to break out of the humdrum routine...find a way to live my life in a way where I could not only survive, but also prosper and be happy."

The me that is now 32 and has elapsed six years since that time is a different, I like to even think better, version of myself. If that older version was Jason 2.0 Version 6, let's call this one, Jason 3.0, Version 2. A lot of things have transpired in that period of time that was a little more than half of a decade ago. I'm married, I have a beautiful son who is almost a year old, I've had four careers since then, and I've done a lot of work on myself, mentally, physically and, to a certain extent, spiritually. I've reinvented myself into someone who that 26 year old probably wouldn't even recognize, let alone that 19 year old.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that people come to me all of the time, stuck, confused, fearful, doubtful, full of the coulda, shoulda, wouldas... I've been in those places many times myself, I'm not saying I haven't. The main thing that people need to know is that all of these afflictions are based around two obstacles: fear and, well, fear. Like I've said in the past, fear is NOT a bad thing. It's okay to be scared. Just don't let it hold you back.

Someone once said that "Necessity is the Mother of Invention". I believe that Reinvention is the Necessity of Life. It's never too late to change things around. If you don't like your job, find a new one. Unhappy in your romantic relationship? Fix it; or get out of it. Not happy with your connection (or lack of) with your kids? Do something about it. Never let the unknown stand in your way. 

Many of us, and I'm mainly talking to the men out there...but, ladies, listen up as well, think that life is something that can't be changed and that the only authentic way of living it is to just grin and bear it and push on through with a little more grit. Not true... I've met so many people over the past year who have found solutions to the challenges and problems that life gives them and continue to do so. They acknowledge the fear and then let it go and keep moving.

On the other hand, I know other people who have given up. They don't want to learn anything else, live any differently, explore new options. They might as well roll over and die. If you're stuck and you can't accept it, refuse to acknowledge it or ignore it and stick your head in the sand, you're as good as dead. Regardless of what many of us would like (and I include myself in this) NOTHING is static, life is always moving on, with or without you. Nature, in its most primitive state, always moves towards entropy, or chaos. If you don't strive against that entropy, you will, at least mentally, return to the soil. You may not be physically dead, but your mental and spiritual states, along with your energy level will be.

Harsh words? Maybe. But I'm not here to hold hands. I'm here to change your way of thinking and get you moving. So, here's your homework. Take one thing that you're afraid of, right now, in the moment, and go conquer it. I don't care if it's that doctor's appointment you've been putting off, that cute girl at the bookstore you're scared of talking to, or even the fact that you haven't cleaned your bathtub in six months. Do one thing that scares the shit out of you and cross it off the list. Feel free to share what kind of experience you had when you're done. And, oh yeah, I'm doing it, too. Tomorrow night, I'm going to a French conversation group with five strangers to brush up on my skills before I get on the plane next month.